I found this on pinterest and I really liked it for Mr.C who sometimes struggles to “let go” of his anger.
It might seem obvious to many how to do every day living activities. For example, the steps needed prior to cooking a meal such as washing our hands, getting all the ingredients ready or ensuring there is enough time for the recipe in question. But at one point when we were children, those steps weren’t obvious. And even for some that are older, those steps may still not be readily apparent.
There have been many recent studies showing a direct correlation between competency with daily living skills and overall happiness. Which really only makes sense. If you don’t have the skills to navigate the small day to day stuff, than you’re going to be upset and frustrated more than not. No one would rate their life a happy one overall if each day is filled with stress, anxiety and a lack of how to get their basic needs met.
Which is how the chart below (and several others) were thought of, and subsequently taped up around our house. So far I’ve seen a great improvement in my eldest’s sense of pride with himself as he sets out to do a task and successfully completes it without having to ask anyone for help. Yes, he may look at the charts I’ve posted, but in the end he did the activity on his own, and you can see the sense of accomplishment this gives him.
Years ago when I first heard “stay where you’re at, and I’ll comes where your to” it took me a minute to get it. I haven’t heard it in awhile, but it’s been stuck in my head lately. What if we all did that? What if we all just met those in our lives exactly where they are (mentally, and emotionally) without exception, without reserve or conditions? So often without meaning to do so, we put conditions upon our acceptance of others (I’m NOT talking about accepting abuse, or anything of that sort.) But what if instead of thinking of how the people in our lives should do x, y, or z, why not just accept that they aren’t doing said things and accept them as is? Why is it so hard for us as a society to accept one another as is?
I recently went through an unexpected neurological reaction to a medication. My husband was my lifeline during it, he just kept accepting me. He kept coming to where I was and doing his best to accept the whirlwind of horror that was my mind during that time. And I know there are lots of partners that would do that, but there are also a lot that wouldn’t. His ability to accept people where their at is actually part of why I fell in love with him to begin with. I watched him with Mr.C, I watched how he would meet him where he was at with so many different things and while some of them he would slowly lead him towards the growth that needed to happen, he’d meet him first and walk with him during it. I watched not just his complete acceptance of my nieces, (okay fine I’ll share them, “our nieces”.) but his unhesitating meeting them where they were, as they were. I watched how happy Joy was with him because of this. And I know how much I needed it from him during my reaction.
But I don’t think I needed it from him JUST then, I think we all need it, always. We need to know that we’re not just accepted, but embraced as we are, for who we are. That we matter enough, and have value as the human beings we are, without being changed, without being altered. AS IS.