I’ve been journaling with my kids for a couple of years now. Every night they write out their answers to the same 4 questions (as do I) and I finally took the plunge and created a journal with those specific questions in it for others to use. It’s now available on Amazon! I’m ridiculously excited as each question was designed after years of research in both psychology (for the study of the individual) and anthropology (for the study of group dynamics).
Research Proposal
I applied for multiple different Masters programs for this fall. I have one left to hear from, but the rest have said no so far. For one of the courses I have in my last term for my B.Sc.(Hons) I had to write a short synopsis of a research proposal. It was really hard to write because I was truthful and simply wrote what I’d hoped to study for my Masters in Psychology. I’m pasting the brief synopsis below, because after 4 years chasing a dream only to be rejected now, I don’t want to feel like my idea will never be seen or considered by anyone other than myself.
Research Synopsis:
With the rate of diagnosis on the rise for Autism, there are many who look for ways to help Autistic children diminish what are seen as non-normative behaviours and one of the most prevalent methods utilized in North America is applied behaviour analysis (Keenan et al., 2015).
One of the key purposes of applied behaviour analysis (ABA) therapy is to help Autistic children regulate their emotions (Frolli et al., 2021). ABA is believed to help by looking at external factors and using positive reinforcements to obtain desired behaviours and negative punishment to extinguish undesired behaviours (Sandoval-Norton & Shkedy, 2019). While on the outset the data from ABA often shows marked increases in various skills or abilities, it shows those behaviours or skills as prompt dependant (Sandoval-Norton & Shkedy, 2019). Prompt dependency would limit the development of intrinsic motivation which would limit their ability to meet the core psychological need of autonomy (Reeve, 2017). Additionally, according to Sandoval-Norton & Shkedy’s (2019) study, ABA is often very psychologically damaging. If something is producing harm as a by-product of producing the results that are desired, another method needs to be investigated to produce those same results without harm. However, in order to create a new method of therapy that is both effective and non-harming, one has to understand the true root of an issue. This is where this study comes in.
Neurotypical people undergo significant neural pruning that is not seen in Autistic brains (Frith 2003; de Silva 2018). Neural pruning assists with the removal of synaptic pathways not used frequently or those not needed for optimum efficiency (Frith 2003). Those additional neural pathways may be providing additional information that is creating a greater threat response than is actually needed in the situation.
Studies such as Avino et al., (2018), have shown that there is an increase in the degeneration of the amygdala in Autistic brains at higher levels than those who are not Autistic. This quantifiable component suggests to us that it is not an overall emotional regulation issue, but instead is specifically a continually heightened state of threat perception at work.
I theorize that the lack of neural pruning seen in Autistic brains increases the amount of response generated in the amygdala which creates the emotional dysregulation seen. Therefore it is not in fact a dysregulation issue, it is actually an inaccurate threat response. By honing in on the specific methodology of the brain in producing the emotional dysregulation seen, harmful therapies such as ABA can be discontinued and a new therapy that focuses on teaching more accurate threat perception can begin.
What’s Turkey Without Stuffing???
I love all the things about Yule, and Christmas. I love the lights, the trees, the songs, even the snow. But the thing I love the most is the feasting!
However, a big part of the fest for me is the stuffing. I make my grandfather’s recipe every year, but it’s filled with bread and potatoes so what’s a girl to do?
Re-vamp her grandfather’s recipe into a keto one of course! 😉 Below is exactly that:
Ingredients:
1 loaf of hearts of palm bread
2 heads of cauliflower
2 Tbsp of Poultry seasoning
1 whole garlic minced
1 cooked sausage of your choice
1/2 of an onion finely chopped
1 egg
1lb of bacon chopped
2 Tbsp of butter
2 Tbsp of heavy cream
1 Tsp of pepper
1 dash of salt
Instructions: 1) Roughly chop and then cook cauliflower in a pan on medium heat.
2) Remove from heat, add butter and cream and mash.
3) Dice onion, garlic, sausage and bacon and then add to the cauliflower mash.
4) Rip (or cut) up hearts of palm bread into small pieces and add to mash.
5) Add whisked egg and poultry seasoning.
6) Stuff Turkey and cook as usual.
Hold On Just A Little Longer
Sometime when I wasn’t looking he became too big for bed time cuddles. I missed noticing the last time his older brother asked for bedtime cuddles, and I swore I wouldn’t miss it with him. Yet, life, my own inability to stay in the present made me forget to pay attention as carefully as I swore I would. I was always thinking of what needs to be done before I go to bed, tomorrow, next week, next month, next, next, next. Never focusing on the now, always on the next. So I missed noticing when the last time he asked for cuddles happened. He slipped out of that stage without a whisper, or a warning.
He still asks for his heart song…most nights. I’ve taken to holding his hand while I sing, a part of me can’t bear to let him go just yet, but I know I must, so I compromise by just holding his hand instead. Normally as soon as I’ve finished his heart song he lets go and repositions himself, his hand firmly tucked beneath his head. Only tonight, tonight he didn’t let go. It was such a small gesture, the gentle extra pressure he used to squeeze so delicately that if I’d not been focused on the present I wouldn’t have noticed…I would have missed his fingers stroking my hand, searching…reaching…connecting with me. So I stayed, my arm outstretched to his big boy loft bed, holding his hand for just a little bit longer. He held my hand tonight not just for his heart song, but until he fell asleep, and my heart overflowed with so much love for my sweet not so little boy. One day he’ll stop asking for his heart song…his brother has, and I’ll stop singing it…but for at least tonight I got to hold on just a little longer…
One week at a time
I am now on my 7th day of Keto! So far I’ve lost 6.8lbs, and 1/4inch off each measurement (waist, arms, legs, and hips). I know some is water weight bloat disappearing, and I’m fine with that 🙂 I’m super excited to see what I’m at next week for my measurements and weight!
To celebrate, I of course made another mug cake lol. This time I went for lemon flavored 😃 I couldn’t find any specific recipe I wanted so I altered one. As I’ve realized that the base of most of the keto mug cakes is the same for the almond flour, butter, coconut flour, baking powder, and sweetner. Below is my Lemon Mug Cake Recipe and Nutritional info for it.
Ingredients:
- 2 Tbsp butter, melted
- 2 Tbsp sweetener (I used Monkfruit with erthyitol)
- 1 Tbsp coconut flour
- 1/4 cup almond flour
- pinch of salt
- 1/2 tsp baking powder
- 1 egg
- 1 1/4 teaspoon of lemon juice
- 2 teaspoons of grated lemon peel
- 2 Tbsp of heavy cream (35%)
Recipe:
- Melt the butter in the microwave
- Add all wet ingredients to the melted butter
- Mix all dry goods in a bowl together
- Mix the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients
- Divide batter into 2 microwave safe mugs
- Sprinkle a half a teaspoon of the lemon peel on the top of the batter
- Bake each mug cake for 90 seconds in the microwave
- Top with your favorite keto cream cheese icing, keto whipped cream or keto ice cream
- Sprinkle the remaining lemon zest on top
- Enjoy!
The nutritional information was calculated using the app CarbManager and does not include icing, whipped cream or ice cream and is per mug:
- Calories: 280kals
- Total Carbs: 18.7g
- Sugar Alcohols: 12g
- Net Carbs: 3.1g
- Fiber: 3.1g
- Protein: 7.1g
- Fat: 26g
A note about the carbs, while the original carbs appears high, and the net carbs does not appear to add up to the total carbs minus fibers, that is because of the sugar alcohols. Normally for keto you need to minus half the sugar alcohols plus the fiber from the total carbs for the net carbs. Only, because the only sugar alcohols in this recipe are from the erythritol they all can be subtracted as our bodies don’t tend to digest sugar alcohols from erthyitol. I got that information from:
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/net-carbs#TOC_TITLE_HDR_4 and from: https://www.atkins.ca/how-it-works/library/articles/ask-the-nutritionist-the-scoop-on-sugar-alcohols
My Secret Salvation
As I previously wrote, I’ve started being on a Keto meal plan again. I started full of desire and determination, and after what felt like months but really was only a couple of days I nearly caved.
I have a sweet tooth, and not just a little one, but like a full on I could eat cakes and donuts and pastries all day, everyday. Which clearly is not a thing I can do while also maintaining a Keto meal plan!
Enter the magical recipes of Melissa Sevigny! She’s the author of the fantastic blog I breathe I’m hungry (which I mentioned in the last post too lol) Her chocolate brownie mug cake recipe is DELICIOUS!!! Best part it’s also keto friendly 😀 and it totally kept me in ketosis while satisfying my intense need for baked goods!
My humble suggestion to anyone starting out with keto is to 1) check out her blog, and 2) buy yourself some almond flour, coconut flour, and monkfruit and dark chocolate (90%) and keep it in your cupboard for if you get hit with a late night craving like I did!
I admit I could have held out if I’d made my kiddos go low carb with me cause then there wouldn’t have been regular baking goods in my house anymore. But I didn’t make them do it, and for Mr.N with his limited diet due to sensory issues it would be cruel of me to force him to go hungry. So wheat pastas, breads, and mashed potatoes and chicken nuggets will still be staples in my house for him…
But so will almond flour, coconut flour, monkfruit sweetener, and dark chocolate 😉
Here We Go Again…
Like countless other adults I have gained more weight than I would like, and tried to lose said weight. So it seems a bit silly to announce I’m attempting it again, cause what if I fail, again? Which of course worries me as I’ve been on and off my quest to lose weight so I could book my hernia surgery for at least 4 years now. While I admit I usually have good success for at least a couple of months, it’s around 2-3 months into my journey that I start skipping my workouts and “treating myself just this once” over and over.
I’ve gone through this cycle many many times, and I’m hesitant to say I’ll be successful this time, but more than anything I NEED to be successful this time. I finally have a definitive consultation with a surgeon and I’m told by her receptionist that I’ve got approximately 4-8 months after that appointment for a surgical date. While 4-8 months is quite a vague timeline, it’s far more definitive than waiting till the weight is gone to even begin booking my appointments.
So, I feel I should have the weight gone by the beginning of that window just incase, as the less abdominal fat I have the greater my chance for a successful, pain free (as in no long term pain due to issues or complications) procedure. That means I have 5 months to lose 50lbs. Which is actually reasonable timeline so long as I combine exercise and diet and ya know stick to it.
For the exercise portion we have a small trampoline, and resistance bands already so it’s just about designing an interval training plan.
For the diet/nutrition portion I’m heading over to I breathe I’m hungry as every time my partner and I have attempted low carb her website has been my go-to for delicious low carb recipes. Last time we attempted this, my partner lost 3 pant sizes and I lost 2 pant sizes with her delicious meals. Had we of stuck to it, we would have lost more and it wasn’t because we got bored with the recipes or they were too hard, it was…
Well to be totally honest it was self (and accidentally partner) sabatoge as I knew I wasn’t going to book my appointments until I’d lost the weight and I was scared of having surgery. I’m still scared, but my hernia has gotten worse and I know if I let it go much longer I’m risking far more serious issues with an emergency surgery for bowel obstruction than a calm, planned hernia repair surgery.
Plus I tell the kiddos all the time “it’s okay to be scared, but you still have to do the things” and I’m a mom who believes in less “do as I say” and more “do as I do”. So now it’s time for me to “do the things” as well.
Mandala inspired sweater
So often I use my craftyness to create things for others. While I take a great deal of pleasure and pride in giving something I’ve made specifically for that person, I wanted something lovely made just for me.
I found a mandala style pillow cover that I used, and then went from there.
The pattern I started with for the back is from Pink Mambo: https://pinkmambo.com/dream-circle/
Then I made the front panels directly from the back, attached the sides of the back and front together, then the sleeves and finally the hood.
I went with a mix of the short bolero style and a wrap style for the front.
I did an elbow length sleeve as I normally camp a great deal in the summer, and a shorter sleeve means I can safely wear it while tending a fire or making hot chocolate on the Coleman stove we use. I’ll be making fingerless elbow gloves to wear with it when I’m not cooking 🙂
I used 5 balls of 3 different variegated yarns, all 3 are Red Heart Colorscape: Barcelona, Acapulco, and Mykonos.
It took me a week to make working off and on between my own schooling, helping the kids with theirs and regular household activities.
What is something you’ve made for yourself? I’d love to see it, please post a picture in the comments below!
Coronavirus Pandemic and Our Emotional Health
We live in Ontario, Canada and our premier has officially declared a state of emergency this morning. This means in addition to primary, secondary and post-secondary schools being shut down for the next 3 weeks, now our daycare centers, restaurants (dine in portion), bars, cinemas, libraries, museums, major venues such as the science centre, and recreation centers are all shut down until at least April.
We homeschool our 3, but my two stepdaughters attend public school at their mother’s insistence. So this changes some things for us, but not all things. Obviously daycare facilities being closed doesn’t effect us. However, everything else being closed does.
One of the ways all of these closures effect us is through fear and anxiety. My youngest son has asthma and has had to be on oxygen and nebulizers in the past, so I am in a heightened state of anxiety. But I’m not the only one, my children feel it too. Not just through me, but also because news of the virus is everywhere and both kiddos understand the potential implications for their brother, and he understands the implications for himself. To that end we have been working a great deal with the concepts of fear, anxiety and powerlessness.
Acknowledgement of Emotions:
We’ve spoken about how scary it can be to feel like you’re powerless in a situation, and how to work with that feeling to acknowledge it but not let it overwhelm us (a thing I am struggling with myself as well).
Then, I attempt to teach them how to work through their scary thoughts. We talk about their feelings, how their real and valid first. But also that even though their valid, we don’t have to be ruled by them. We can focus on the things we HAVE done, the things we ARE doing, and the things we CAN do during this time.
Breathing Techniques:
Once I’ve validated their emotions we do breathing exercises. Five deep breathes in through the nose and out through the mouth. This helps to calm the nervous system down and allow the pre-frontal cortex to come back online (center of logic and reasoning).
Mindfulness Exercises:
Mindfulness exercises such as finding 5 things they can see, touch, and hear can also help to refocus on calming the mind enough to work through any scary thoughts.
Positive Actions:
Finally, we focus on something positive, such as on gratitude, love, giving to others, or constructive actions. We do this because in allot of ways our thoughts are like roads, the more frequently their used, the more deeply they become entrenched and at times like this we NEED the positive perhaps more than ever.
For one child, focusing then on how grateful they are for the healthcare professionals or our ability to have things delivered to lessen our chances of exposure is helpful.
For another it’s expressing love through acts of kindness such as offering to play another siblings favorite board game or reading a book to a younger sibling.
For another it’s writing a card to send to someone they can’t see in person right now, or walks in the conservation area to be in nature.
For me, it’s constructive physical acts that help, for example organizing cupboards and labelling jars with our supplies or sorting the kids clothes for donations (I’ll wait to donate, but I’m happy to pop bags of donations in a closet ready to go once this is all over). Each person is unique, so choosing the positive actions that work best for them should be specific to them.
Behind starburst eyes 